In an article at MayoClinic.com today, Lois McGuire, R.N., M.S.N., W.H.N.P., suggests that at 20-24 weeks gestation every expectant mother have a blood test to see if she or her partner has herpes. After all, she points out, “approximately 1 in 5 women have herpes, but many are not aware that they have the virus.”

ONE in FIVE women has HERPES?

She poses six scenarios in which one or both parent has either Herpes Simplex 1 (mouth sores) or Herpes Simplex Virus 2 (genital sores) – or both, and addresses each scenario.

The suggestions for keeping the kid safe range from suppressive therapy (that Valtrex business you see advertised all the time, with the smiley happy lovey couples who don’t worry at all about their oozing sores)

to avoiding sex/oral sex/kissing/kissing your baby/breast-feeding.

AWESOME.

But, you’re thinking to yourself, practically everyone has herpes, right? Like, those cold sore things? And while that’s unfortunate, it’s not like it’s fatal or anything, right?

WRONG.

Babies have terrible immune systems. Herpes can cause serious infections, even encephalitis.

(That is a brain with encephalitis. Trust us, it ain’t good.)

So if one in five women has herpes, then one in five women puts her fetus at risk of encephalitis, right? Do you know four women who’ve had babies? Are their kids’ brains all fucked up? Are their kids dead? No?

OH DAMN GIRL, YOU COULD BE THE ONE IN FIVE.