Jon and Kate Gosselin used to be the parents of eight kids that America liked, but now they’re facing criticism because of how they market their family on Jon and Kate Plus 8.
Remember how we went off on that whole rant about how 1 in 5 women has herpes, and herpes can cause encephalitis, and do you really want to take that risk, etc etc? Well, now the chickens have come home to roost: a 35-year-old woman who contracted HSV in her third trimester kissed her baby while she had a cold sore — and the baby died.
It’s too fucking sad to joke about, but we trust you see our point.
Tips for dads-to-be include gems such as “keep a positive attitude” and “get the house ready”. Is this what things have come to? Are men this clueless or does our society merely treat them as children, demanding nothing and creatinga self fulfilling prophecy? It seems you already have one baby; why take on another?
Your child may want to RIDE THE SNAKE. For fuck’s sake…
(via buzzfeed )
elizabethanne: You have a child now. One that is probably hungry or wants to be held. You might want to take care of that shit instead of posting the video recording of your baby’s first hiccup on facebook. Especially since the only person gives a fuck about watching your baby hiccup is you. And this justifies my idea for putting birth control in the water and you have to pass a test like the SATs in order to be able to get preggers. Some people should not, I repeat, SHOULD NOT give birth EVER because they are THAT stupid.
We at The Best Birth Control of All whole-heartedly concur.
See? The connection between breast cancer and pregnancy does not exisit. I have heard pregnancy can cause breast cancer. I have also heard being childless can cause it. The matter is very confusing, but looks like it has been cleared up. So, just go about your lives and take your pill. This has been a public service announcement.
& 
Amelia was thirteen when her divorced parents sat down across her mom’s kitchen table, asked her to join them, and, after exchanging a glance that immediately made her nerves stand on edge, said the following words:
“Sex isn’t a bad thing. In fact —” another glance — “it can be quite good, with the right person.”
AND THEN AMELIA DIED.
Really, though, the sex talk? The birds, the bees? For this girl, it came too late. Not too-late too late, mind you, she’d not actually HAD sex (though some of her peers had, and she’d meet people later who’d had it by thirteen, too), but she KNEW ABOUT sex. Like, she knew how it worked, and why people did it, and for heavens’ sake, she didn’t need to learn about it from her PARENTS. Ew. She told them as much, and they, grateful and relieved, hushed up about it.
Alfie, the thirteen-year-old new father in Britain (though, eesh, stories now suggest he’s only one of a number of possible fathers), had apparently not had the uncomfortable discussion with his parents:
It is certainly evidence that one little boy did not know very much at all about sex. His father has told reporters that while the two children were regularly allowed to share a bed, he had not yet gotten around to talking to his son about where babies come from.
He will soon, he promised. A little late, in this case, but still a good idea.
A little late? A LITTLE LATE? Yeah, it was late for Amelia, whose cousin Sarah had explained it all to her (in shrieks and giggles, yes, but still) when she was nine, but she at least didn’t have a KID OF HER OWN when her parents exchanged that revoltingly lovey glance across the table.
Alfie’s parents failed their kid. Will you fail yours?
There is so much about this interview with Bristol Palin that is so incredibly fucked up that we don’t even know where to begin.
We sure as hell will try though.
We are glad this girl has five generations to help her raise her baby (apparently her great-grandmother and great-great-grandmother are chilling out too), but most teenage moms aren’t so lucky. Might Gov. Palin’s desire to protect her reputation play a role in her desire to help? We think so.
Also, Bristol! Please. Keep it real. Abstinence does not work — you said so yourself! If you really are so independent from your mom, speak up. Say more. Be honest about your contraceptive use. This could have been avoided.
Lastly, we know you never would have had an abortion in a million years — so please don’t pretend you made a choice.
Most teenage moms ain’t as lucky as Miss Palin, no matter how positive the Governor — and Greta von Sursteren — makes it seem.
Birth control is where it is at. It’s a lesson we can all learn.
Baby-faced boy is father at 13
“Baby-faced Alfie, who is 13 but looks more like eight, became a father four days ago when his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne.
He told how he and Chantelle, 15, decided against an abortion after discovering she was pregnant…”
This kid gives new meaning to the term “baby daddy”.
