October 2008
23 posts
September 2008
43 posts
Most baby car seats fail basic safety test →
Do you need to add “killing your baby” to the list of things you feel bad about? That night in college with the leprechaun was bad enough…
A conversation about poop.
Me: “Okay, let’s change your diaper and then we’ll eat lunch.”
Big G: “WANNA EAT A HOTDOG RIGHT NOOOOWWW.”
Me: “I understand, but hey, let’s change you so you’re not poopy.”
BG: “WANNA BE POOPY RIGHT NOOOOWWW.”
M: “…Yes, well, we’re changing you so you don’t sit in your poop during lunch.”
...
Adventures in Pregnancy, Part V
I barfed on my husband during sex once during the joys of the first trimester. Talk about a mood killer…
— Texalaskan Mama-to-be
Bad Dads Can't Do No More Hunting →
Do you really want your life to come to this? A bad country music cliche? Keep the pants on, ladies.
Adventures in Pregnancy, Part IV
Good lord the gas. I was so bloated during the first trimester that I have only one belly picture from then taken on a morning when I miraculously did not look 20 weeks pregnant. My stomach was tight as a drum throughout those early weeks, and I didn’t even have to eat gas-inducing foods to achieve the bloat. A simple glass of water was all it took. I sounded like an entire frat at a kegger...
Adventures in Pregnancy, part III
There was also the time I puked at a bridal shop. Unfortunately the bathroom had a very thin door and was right beside the area where all the brides try on their dresses. i walked out and there were several horrified brides-to-be looking at me. I said “keep taking your pill” and walked my splotchy red face out of there.
—- Texalaskan Mama-to-be
Boobs = Controversy
If you have a baby, you get sucked into all the wankyness on the internet about breastfeeding/vaccinations/other crunchiness.
If you don’t have a baby, you can read the forums at Mothering.com for all the schadenfreude and none of the personal baggage.
“Is the puking girl me? If so the best part was left out - yesterday was...”
– Adventures in Pregnancy, part II, from the Texalaskan Mama-to-be, currently 4 1/2 months along. Stay tuned for waaaaaaaaaay more.
BLOODY SHOW
It’s show time! What causes the bloody show during pregnancy and what passing your mucous plug really means.
What it is: ”Bloody show,” a pink- or brown-tinged stringy mucus discharge, is a sign that your cervix is dilating and/or effacing. This is a definite signal that you’re well on your way toward labor and delivery.
What causes it: This “passage” means...
"I puke every time I see the dog poop."
“I’ve puked directly on the dog twice.”
— Texalaskan Mama-to-be
AT ANY TIME.
Colostrum: This is known as pre-milk, which is a sweet and watery fluid that is easy to digest. During your second trimester your breasts will begin to produce colostrum. Colostrum appears thick and yellow at first and as birth draws near it becomes pale and almost colorless. Colostrum will provide your baby with his first few meals before your milk comes in. Discharge may occur at any time, when...
Hemorrhoids are common during pregnancy. Do not... →
Clay Aiken: Gay Dad! →
Babies totally force you out of the closet. Bastards.
Everyone Has The Right To Have A Baby →
BABIES = INSANITY
SQP: even that woman who drowned all her kids, who is the most out-there example of post-partum psychosis imaginable, was perfectly sane pre-babies.
I’ve had the Dora themesong stuck in my head for like 6 hours. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UPPPP, BRAIN.
NAMING FAIL.
Sometimes people name their children stupid shit and then you have to make pleasant conversation with said people.
