December 2008
32 posts
“Who really understands all the different kinds of vaginal fluids?”
– A new dad, telling the story of the birth of his son. (thanks, officed!)
14 Pounder! →
You do not want anything, ANNNNNYTHING, growing in your body that takes two adults to lift out.
Yesterday's This American Life, Ruining It for the... →
Listen, folks, there is so much we can say about vaccinations, and there is so much we can learn, too, but on behalf of one of our authors — who recently dealt with a particularly painful strain of MUMPS, a disease she never, ever thought she’d get — we suggest you check out this episode of This American Life. Simplest solution to the vaccination question? Don’t have a kid...
Pooping Robot Dolls Are the Hot Kids Toys of 2008 →
If this is what having kids means, it gives me serious pause.
A two-headed monster
If you have kids with a partner, you are forever committed to be civil to their insane relatives, who will be your child’s grandparents/aunts/uncles.
If you have kids sans partner, your kid is stuck with just YOUR insane relatives. Which, tough luck there, kiddo.
Stay Healthy When You're Pregnant At The Holidays →
The only reason we’re blogging this is to point out that one of us (who shall remain unnamed) mis-read the article and thought the final bullet point was the note about “joining the discussion.”
So, pregnant women, as the holiday season is suddenly upon us please remember to avoid caffeine, eat hot foods hot, and don’t be racist or vulgar.
Just sayin’.
Duggar family welcomes 18th child, Jordyn-Grace... →
We are sure you all already saw this, but it took us a few days to recover from this news.
18 special gifts from God…apparently, once you pop, you cannot stop. Don’t start!
Cake request for 3-year-old Hitler namesake denied... →
There is a child out there whose parents saw fit to name him ADOLPH HITLER. Your child could share the playground with this kid. Your child could even beat this kid up. This is an ethical quandry — how do you say “Beat the parents, Johnny, not the kid.”? Simple answer: don’t have kids.
“Having our first baby was like being in a Maoist re-education camp…”
– My boss at our holiday lunch… file under: the best birth control of all (via officed)
“Help. My daughter is 13 years old. I am remarried (for 5 years) and we are...”
– If you decide to have a baby with your new, non-jerk husband, your bitchy, petulant, over-indulged brat from your previous marriage will be horrible to you about it. The solution is simple: don’t have her, nevermind a new baby, in the first place!
70-Year-Old Woman Gives Birth - →
This article asks “How old is too old to have a baby?”
Guess what…70 is. So, so wrong.
My Beautiful Cervix
http://beautifulcervix.com/about/
“My intention with this project was to better understand my cycle and the changes in my cervix throughout the month. As a doula and student midwife, I used this project to help me see how a cervix might look different throughout the cycle in the absence of vaginal infections and to understand speculum exams. You may notice on the right side of some...
Bringing up baby with safe and green toys →
Safe AND green? What happened to playing with Tupperware?
“Can’t they just use a ruler?!”
– My pal Rachel, in response to how doctors measure the dilation of a pregnant woman’s cervix. She is not down with having an entire hand up her vag.
Watch the Duggars Welcome Baby No. 18! →
If you have to show your na-na on TV to pay for them, you should probably just get a pet rock.
10 ways to tell that you are not cut out for...
1. You hate repeating yourself Most of parenting involves saying the same thing at least 3 times in order to get it done. 3 times is when you threaten violence with the last request, it can be many more times if your kid does not fear bodily harm. If you are one of those people who do not believe in corporal punishment, or are too lazy to exercise it, you will have to keep saying the same thing...
