May 2009
1 post
Jon Minus 9? →
Oh, we cannot help but love this all…just a tiny bit.
April 2009
3 posts
Penelope Ann Miller welcomes baby girl →
Look, we aren’t against fertility drugs here at BBOA. It is a personal choice and everyone makes their own decisions. We just feel compelled to point out that this woman is 4-fucking-9 years old and just had a baby. This is somehting most of us could not afford to do. They make it seem so easy.
March 2009
17 posts
Baby's Weight Gain Tied to Later Obesity →
You know what we support? Not having a kid that you will eventually make fat and no one will ask her to the prom and she will blame you and you will be paying for therapy her whole life. A condom could prevent all this.
“I GET THE GENERAL IDEA THAT HAVING KIDS IS BASICALLY LONG BOUTS OF TEDIOUSNESS...”
– Amelia’s roommate, completely on point.
Think having children will make you happy? →
psychotherapy:
Over the past few decades, social scientists like me have found consistent evidence that there is an almost zero association between having children and happiness. My analysis in the Journal of Socio-economics (Powdthavee, 2008) is a recent British example of parents and non-parents reporting the same levels of life satisfaction, on average.
But the warnings for prospective...
Kids NOT Having Kids →
That 13 year old boy in the UK isn’t the baby daddy. Wait, the mom is still a kid. Crap. Let’s call the whole thing off!
10 Things To Do Before You Become A Parent →
(thanks to onlysubterranean: fishy: smartblonde)
Do you get migraines? Awesome. Get knocked up &... →
Seriously, though.
Migraines are linked to a higher risk of stroke, high blood pressure and blood clots in pregnant women, according to a new U.S. study based on data gathered from more than 18 million hospital discharges.
As a migraine sufferer, I applaud this recent study for giving me yet another reason to forego getting pregnant. 15 times the risk? For a screaming bundle of...
If This Couple Can't Make It, What Makes You Think... →
Jon Minus Nine →
We know we should not relish the demise of any family, nor desire that 8 innocent children should have to endure the hardships of a broken home, but this is just too delicious. Jon Gosselin cavorting with coeds? I doubt we will see this on TLC.
Woman with two uteri gives birth to twins--one in... →
Reader Raelynne tipped us off to this disturbing news story, saying “Double the shudders, man — I can barely deal with the ONE uterus I have.”
We’re totally with her. Twins? One from each uterus? What? And they have a 10-month-old? That’s one super fertile woman. If we were her, we’d be sucking down double doses of birth control pills — and using two...
Dealing with depression after pregnancy →
Post partum depression is real and scary. It could not sadden us more that these “tips” include advice like “don’t worry about being perfect” and “nap when your baby naps”. It isn’t the baby blues; time to start treating this seriously.
“Jon and Kate Gosselin used to be the parents of eight kids that America liked,...”
– Jezebel’s got a link to an awesome Philly Mag story about Jon & the Nine Reasons He Wants To Hurl Himself From The Top Of A Building. Check it out.
February 2009
23 posts
Mother Kills Newborn With A Kiss →
Remember how we went off on that whole rant about how 1 in 5 women has herpes, and herpes can cause encephalitis, and do you really want to take that risk, etc etc? Well, now the chickens have come home to roost: a 35-year-old woman who contracted HSV in her third trimester kissed her baby while she had a cold sore — and the baby died.
It’s too fucking sad to joke about, but we trust...
Advice for Dads-to-Be: 9 Tips for the Next 9... →
Tips for dads-to-be include gems such as “keep a positive attitude” and “get the house ready”. Is this what things have come to? Are men this clueless or does our society merely treat them as children, demanding nothing and creatinga self fulfilling prophecy? It seems you already have one baby; why take on another?
3 tags
Dear...
elizabethanne: You have a child now. One that is probably hungry or wants to be held. You might want to take care of that shit instead of posting the video recording of your baby’s first hiccup on facebook. Especially since the only person gives a fuck about watching your baby hiccup is you. And this justifies my idea for putting birth control in the water and you have to pass a test like...
Pregnancy and Breast Cancer: No link found →
See? The connection between breast cancer and pregnancy does not exisit. I have heard pregnancy can cause breast cancer. I have also heard being childless can cause it. The matter is very confusing, but looks like it has been cleared up. So, just go about your lives and take your pill. This has been a public service announcement.
THE SEX TALK. Or, ew, gross, Mom!
&
Amelia was thirteen when her divorced parents sat down across her mom’s kitchen table, asked her to join them, and, after exchanging a glance that immediately made her nerves stand on edge, said the following words:
“Sex isn’t a bad thing. In fact —” another glance — “it can be quite good, with the right person.”
AND THEN AMELIA DIED.
...
Bristol Palin: Teen SuperMom →
There is so much about this interview with Bristol Palin that is so incredibly fucked up that we don’t even know where to begin.
We sure as hell will try though.
We are glad this girl has five generations to help her raise her baby (apparently her great-grandmother and great-great-grandmother are chilling out too), but most teenage moms aren’t so lucky. Might Gov. Palin’s...
“The reality is - a baby needs far more than 45 minutes of attention daily - and...”
– Terminal Chaosity: “45 Minutes X 8 Babies = 6 Hours” or “Not Enough Time In a Day For Octuplet Snuggling”
—
(via indieandyy)
We here at BBOA have a lot to say about this whole octuplet mess, but this story warranted immediate posting.
If you insist on having children, and you insist on using...
Teens and prenatal care debated →
How is this even a debate!? Of course pregnant teens should be entitled to prenatal care. Individual rights trump everything. Teach your kids about birth control as well…we all need to avoid this mess.
A Personal Reflection On One Of The Worst Kinds Of...
One week ago, one of my very best friends from college (the Texan in Alaska – I’ve written about her before) gave birth to her first child, a gorgeous, tiny, perfect boy she and her husband named Matthew. I was in the middle of getting a new tattoo (heartbreak, impulse, whatever, it’s gorgeous) when the very first picture of this lovely creature appeared on my cellphone. The minute the needle...
Neediness drives mom Nadya Suleman’s quest for... →
Once you have one, you will surely want 14.
Eleven years later...
THE doctor who sparked the scare over the safety of the MMR vaccine for children changed and misreported results in his research, creating the appearance of a possible link with autism, a Sunday Times investigation has found.
(via alexbalk)
Listen, if you have to have children, please vaccinate your children.
I just stumbled across this amusing blog while researching the eating disorder Pica. It is written by a labor & delivery nurse and filled with hilariously frightening anecdotes, including this:
“One of the relatively new (new to our unit, not the medical profession) docs was hanging out at the nurses station the other night telling stories from her previous practice in another state.
...
Summer pregnancies produce taller children, study... →
Don’t you dare think of knocking boots in the spring and having a baby in the winter. You will have a short kid, causing him a life time of pain and rejection. You selfish selfish bitch.
Erykah Badu blogs about giving birth to baby girl →
She twittered the birth to be precise. Nothing is safe in this technological era, not even your afterbirth.
One in Four Women Placed On Bed Rest Each Year →
I can barely stand to sit at my desk for several hours a day. BED REST? Are you kidding?
Girl, 21, gives birth after 48 months pregnancy →
Wow…ok, so clearly this is some craziness. But there are doctors out there that have some whack-a-doo theories. Do you want them all up in your hoo-ha?
“Chemicals known as perfluorinated chemicals, which are pervasive in food...”
– Information courtesy of a study performed at UCLA’s School of Public Health, published in Human Reproduction.
THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT HANGING OUT AROUND DRY CLEANERS IS GOOD BIRTH CONTROL
January 2009
29 posts
Elisabeth Hasselbeck Is Pregnant...Again →
Here at BBOA we whole heartedly believe in sterilization. Please see EXHIBIT A.
“When researchers created a popularity name index for each name, they found that...”
– “Bad Name = Bad Kid”, momlogic.com
The study is here: Adolescents with unpopular names more prone to committing crime.
DON’T BOTHER HAVING KIDS HONESTLY YOU’LL JUST MAKE THEM CRIMINALS
California woman has 8 babies in 5 minutes →
This woman refuses to confirm she used fertility drugs. She had a LITTER OF HUMAN BEINGS. Octuplets! This is against nature, humanity and the laws of decency.
“Infant mortality rates attributable to accidental suffocation and strangulation...”
– The actual cause of the rising rates is unknown, but The New York Times — and other leading publications — suggest that the increase in co-sleeping may have something to do with it. The CDC today released a report to the official journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, and...
